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  • Writer's pictureKate Benford MAR

"I've seen a change in her- a good one"

The emotional aspect of a fertility journey is often hugely overlooked. The emotions are what drive you but not always in the way you want and many responses that you have, are ingrained to you from birth until the age of 8. Leading to learned responses to painful experiences and if you cannot decipher your feeling or emotion, it can reinforce this even more.

We naturally lean towards the problem, the issue and forget or dismiss the positive aspects of our days, our choices and successes. This is known as a negativity bias. Over time this can build and build, making it harder and harder to change and create new responses. Think of it like muscle memory. When you go to the gym it takes time to build strength and time to reach your goals, but if you constantly tell yourself that you're too tired to go, its too cold outside, the workout is too hard, you know that you will not reach your goal or improve your strength anytime soon. Your emotional responses work in exactly the same way. It takes time and isn't always easy but it is totally possible.

And the really great thing is that there isn't only one way to do this. There are infinite ways to take steps to creating this change. Exactly the same as improving your physical health, you can choose to swim, walk, skip, gym, decorate, do housework and so much more. Improving your mind body connection takes practice, it takes time and you can choose how to go about it. This isn't about forcing positivity, because that will not work- you won't believe it.

But it doesn't need to be difficult, it will most likely feel awkward, maybe a little strange but you can change your focus and it can begin with something as simple as changing some of your vocabulary. Use feeling words such as 'I want' instead of 'I should'. These small changes will slowly become natural and you will of course question things along the way. We all have bad days and have experienced tough times but you know that you managed to get through it and you can draw on those experiences because you've felt that emotion before.

Step by step, slowly slowly you can do it and it will at times feel tough but I'm here as your guide to help bring you clarity and the support you need and together we will start with your next best step to getting to where you want to be.


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